[15 Dec 2004|05:26pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | cute when you scream... ] life is so dull right now... but something BIG is comming... i can feel it... and i can't wait to see what it is... school: the morning... Kenny gave me a two liter of diet coke this morning... [[thanks]] and i was almost tardy, but i made a quick save. psychology: was kind of odd... i have to re-do a project.. i think Mandea was mad at me cause she wasn't talking like at all... algII: we didn't do a lot ot was kind of easy but ms Gillis was bieng really mean... i was going to ask her if the negitive radical could be i instead and i started to and she goes "don't talk to me" i was like... "yes ma'am" spanish: sucked... went by fast... there really isn't anyone good in my class... lunch: i hate it... i don't really have any friends in that lunch.. i would sit w/ Courtney but she sits w/ Kyle and Justin... sooo i already kno that i am unwanted around there english: was boring... it is an honors class and we do 7th grade busy work... ugh... swimming: is getting better... i think that i am swimming faster... and i am diving better... cause i can dive some of the time.. tomarrow night we have a meet.. i am going to make a total fool of myself.. i am already nervous... i talked to emily yesterday and today... it is really great cause right now i really don't have any close friends but me and her go way back so it's kind of nice talking to her... cause i can actually talk to... her bday party is comming up soon... it is going to be mega fab... i'm excited...  besides Emily i do not really have any friends... i have a bunch of kind of friends who i like, and i'm prety shure they like me but we aren't really friends if you get it...   and i want to kno... how come when i try so hard to be nice to everyone, people are so mean? really what don't people like about me besides the fact that i am loud? i just do not get it...

[12 Dec 2004|07:10pm] [ mood | algII homework... gah ] [ music | emery ] today i spent forever shopping... i don't like shopping... there is so much stuff i want but i can't get... and i feel guilty for wanting it... i didn't get any jeans because i am too chubby, none fit right... and all the shoes skipped my size... but i got a really cute purse   friday night my swim meet sucked... i belly flopped and i went slow..  w/e i must go do algII homework     on a side note... i do not like christmas... like at all..

[07 Dec 2004|09:33pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | the early november ] omg i'm scared. last weeks there were alot of police and we were on lock down and stuff. and today a boy got stabbed. oh my. so much for a positive learning enviroment. and then last night i was in the car w/ philip and lauren and we got hit!! it was scary. this is a scary week. i do not want to go to school tomarrow oh well.. christmas is soon... i haven't talked to emily in forever.. kind of sad when your best friend is too busy for you...

[02 Dec 2004|08:45pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | THE OC!! ] 1. Who are you? 2. Are we friends? 3. When and how did we meet? 4. Do you have a crush on me? 5. Would you kiss me? 6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 7. Describe me in one word. 8. What was your first impression? 9. Do you still think that way about me now? 10. What reminds you of me? 11. If you could give me anything what would it be? 12. How well do you know me? 13. When's the last time you saw me? 14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you? doooo itt!!

[01 Dec 2004|08:10pm] [ mood | mmmbop ] [ music | thePOSTALservice<3 ] glah. so not much has been going on. i slept over lauren lanes last night. went to school. went to swimming. cameran got his ass beat by Even/Kerry, w/e that just makes him hotter. then i went straight to indoor soccer. we won. i got to see my sexxaaay ash bash. and couch Cez did good too. then i came home and didn't do anything great... ASHLEY CROWDER IS MAH HOME GUUURRLL!! AshBash is my chemistry lover. we rap like crazy: my protons bring all the boys to the yard... and LINDSEY... you are fun! see ya at swimming... "mary, i'll be okay, look we'll shower naked and it will be all better." thanks for cheering me up.

[27 Nov 2004|03:35pm] I want to kno what people have to say/think about me... Please please please do it. post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. anything; a secret, a confession, a fear, a love, your opinion about me -- anything. be sure to post anonymously and honestly. then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say *stolen from my new friend sarah*

[26 Nov 2004|11:07pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | OkayiBelieveYouButMyTommyGunDon't<3BrandNew ] w/e my night wasn't great. no need in complaining. my cell phone sucks. it didn't ring and it didn't leave a # of the people who called me so my mom calls to try and get in touch w. me and she can't. i was home like 40 minutes late. oh well. but yeah i got my phone taken away. but get this when i walk in the door my mom has MY journal in her hand... she was 'looking for a number' and yesterday she checked my email. so my mom doesn't trust me. gay. gay. gay. so yeah. i guess the night wasn't too bad. i had a nice talk w/ Hans [thomas] in that cool fudruckers hat... no one can rock it like him. *garrett you are in my lj... and you're cool* comments?... i like getting comments. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside [[not really, but it could]]

[25 Nov 2004|07:32pm] join... cause it's thanksgiving.. and i'd be thanful to the maxx if you did.

my mood: [24 Nov 2004|02:23pm] [ mood | GROAR!! ] [ music | you're cute when you scream. ] this song goes out to someone special: (Fuck with my heart) I'll teach you what it's like. (To be so used) That you'll have to clean. That dirt stuck in Your plastic finger nails. And just the scent of you is enough (To make me sick) And all I know is revenge is sweet when... You know that you are worthless And I am better than The games that you play princess. (I've played) and always win. (I'll take my time) To slowly plot your end. (And now I will) Spit bullets with my pen. And all I know is you're cute when you scream. You know that you are worthless And I am better than The games that you play princess. (I've played) and always win. I'll take you to the top, Of this building and just push you off. Run down the stairs so I can see your face As you hit the street, the street, the street, the street. You know that you are worthless And I am better than The games that you play princess. (I've played) and always win. (This time I win. So here's your kiss goodbye.)

Christmas List: [23 Nov 2004|03:22am] [ mood | i'm a dork. ] [ music | Spitalfield<3 ] gash. yesterday on the way home from swim practice Anna Matt and Lauren were all talking about being in love and like telling their stories. it made me relize how much i want to be in l o v e. It's just not fair. hmm. So, what i want for christmas is an ACTUAL BOYFRIEND...   btw... all 4 of my brothers are home for the holidays... gah!!

ouch. [21 Nov 2004|01:30pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | EVER SO SWEET<3 the early november ] i'm dyting my hair right now. it will be brown. my natural color... ecpresso. so no longer am i a 'typical emo'. i had a good weekend. Roger is very cool. We should go get bagels and hair dye that sucks togeather more often. and he home an hour late, AND GET IN NO TROUBLE

[18 Nov 2004|09:13pm] [ mood | worst fxcking day ever... ] [ music | straylight run... ] fucking asshole!!!!!!! gaaaaaaah... i guess i just need to stop burdening other people why my problems and figure it out myself. bullshit!!

heart beat away from trigger pull [13 Nov 2004|09:04am] [ mood | haven't desided yet ] [ music | - M - A - X - E - E - N - ] gah... i'm very blah... i don't kno what i think yet... but when i figure it out i'll write it in here. all my soccer games have been cancled... now i have no plans for this weekend except on sunday i'm going shopping to get my swimming stuff... i'll tell you what, swimming is harder than it looks... i keep like choking on water! and we had to do like 20 laps... i didn't finish. Last night west meck lost... it was the sadest thing ever... i wanted to cry... seeing all those like big though football players cry... it was terrible. On the ride home and and Jack kinda got into it... so i was GRRR and he was like 'i hate all girls'... but daniel kept so cool... he was like 'So Mary, what are you doing this weekend?'... then he met my mom! it was crazy... my mom was like 'even though it was dark, he looked cute.' xxx.

maybe not to agree but to proclaim love [10 Nov 2004|09:26pm] [ mood | mae is pretty ] [ music | - Mae -x- Embers and Envelopes - ] today was fun! i'm phoning w/ Britni Hardee<3 tomarrow i have no idea whats going on, but i think i'm swimmin! woot woot! today i hung out w/ kyle and travis after school... then cesar and dani came over for a few minutes [i made a BIG snort when i laughed!]... then i saw Carrie! we went to church, it was way fun surprisingly! ummmm nothing else really to say!

Sierra Mist [08 Nov 2004|02:51pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | december drive<3 ] this weekend was cool! i offically want to go to chapel hill, which means i majoprly ineed to improve my grades! then sunday me and ash bash [waaaaayy hott] went to carowinds. Cesar was there too. It was cool. i got made fun of for reading harry Potter, it's a good book!=/ comments!

a funeral keeps both of us apart... [04 Nov 2004|07:14pm] [ mood | roar. ] [ music | - brandnew -x- The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot - ] this week has been pretty good i guess Bush won.. ::smiles:: umm i have a lot of homework... gah you are clam and repolsed let your beauty unfold pale white like the skin streched over your bones spring keeps you ever close you are second hand smoke you are so friagile and thing standing trial for your sins holding onto yourseldf the best you can you are the smell before rain you are the blood in my vains

grand RE- opening [01 Nov 2004|08:04pm] [ mood | surprisingly good ] [ music | - emery -x- as your voice fades - ] i re-oped my journal! anyone happy?? okay... umm tomarrows are elections... i;m not crazy for either one of them.. but i favor BUSH!***.. but i'm voting for cesar fuentes... y'all should too! i like comments ::smiles:: earlier is aid i favored kerry... my mom was just out of wack.. i'm for bush

[21 Oct 2004|09:13pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | - BrandNew -x- Play Crack the Sky - ] Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours, In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step that you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark, And I still have these memories, But will never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember, Cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory, We'll never make another memory. I wish i would have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real, You said they were, What happened? You were a priority, Was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough. So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember these things i've told you, Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, But I guess i've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, Cause i'm still in love with the person who helped me write it. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?

i love him... he loves her... [20 Oct 2004|09:01pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | bright eyes<3 ] Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind is the best movie ive seen in my whoooooole life...  jeeze... that was the highlight of my whole day... in fact my whole week... it makes me think about somethings... ::sigh::

national lets make mary sad weekend [17 Oct 2004|09:32pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | - Straylight Run -x- Existentialism on Prom Night - ] jeeze... is this like the offical lets hurt marys feelings weekend... i mean i go out of my way to stay the weekend with someone and they completely ignore me... i didnt really want to be there anyways, i just wanted to hang out w/ you, was that too much to ask?? but w/e its over... and then today everyones just blowing me off!! groar!!!! whatever.... im just going to stay home and cry forever... i dont ever want to be social...

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